Yesterday I had a struggle of a day, I was an emotional mess! But, there was one part of my day that made me feel so much better even though the amount of strength it took was crazy.
No, it was not the thirty minute slow walk on my treadmill. I mean, that always takes some grit + determination and I did really want to curl up on the couch in my empty home last night and get lost in some TV shows.
I have this habit I try to do every day. Notice I said “try” because I’ll be the first to tell you I’m so far from perfect.
I prefer to do it every night because I spend the day taking in the world around me, then I complete my habit just before I lay down for the night and in turn, I lay my head on my pillow with a grateful heart.
Last night I wanted to skip it. What did I have to write? I was frustrated about hearing a surgical revision was the only recommendation. I was pissed that life with CRPS is so unpredictable and messy and hard. I felt horrible for the fact that once again, I’m going to become an inconvenience to those around me, to my family.
But, I sat down on my bed and realized I was stronger than that. I told myself I deserved better than that. I owed it to myself.
So, I pulled out my little notebook, grabbed a marker, wrote down the date and numbered 1 – 10 down the page.
I could have gone to bed mad at the world, mad at CRPS. Instead, I wrote out my list of the 10 things I was grateful for yesterday and that allowed me to lay down for sleep with a heart full of gratitude.
- The strength to do this list
- Tony bringing me a coffee
- My parents love + support + encouragement (I had sent out a family text after my doc appt and they both let me know I was loved and not alone in this battle…. I cried.)
- Laynee’s responsibility she showed today
- Productive day at work
- J feeling a little better tonight after the flu all day
- 30 minute walk on the treadmill
- The air fryer (helps dinner become easy!)
- Great friends that love me big
- My CRPS community online
Speak Your Mind