The Jeans

Busted can of biscuits.

That is exactly how I looked!

So, this morning I really wanted to wear my lighter pair of skinny jeans. I put them on, I could pull them up fine, I could button & zip them easily. Sure, I could say they “fit,” right?

But….they were the fit that makes you look like you are carrying ten extra pounds around your stomach because they really are too small. I mean, maybe this only pertains to short & stocky women like me who reach 5’4″ on a good day & were definitely built to be solid.

I looked into the mirror at myself thinking, “you look like hell.”

However, from that moment this conversation inside my head could have gone in two completely different directions.

You see, I could have played this scenario out: “Are you serious? You look fat. You’re such a failure. I can’t believe you cannot even wear these jeans anymore. Seriously. Why bother, you’re never going to get there so you might as well quit.”

Yes, I will admit that in my past I have stood in the mirror & had some really horrible conversations with myself.

But today, my growth was evident. Because, today, I choose to look in the mirror & decide this was my truth:

Alright K, no big deal. You’ll change into the jeans today that are one size bigger but actually have some room in because your body is changing. These jeans here, you’ll be wearing in March like no big deal. Someday, these jeans will probably be too big for you. That day isn’t today, but that day can be in the future if you stay on track & stop the self-sabotage & make the choice to believe in yourself every single day.

You see this week I had some really good workouts that gave me some deep reflection. I had moments where I realized I have been truly self-sabotaging myself lately because I was giving power to my excuses again. Simply put: my mindset had grown weak. My condition, my daily pain, had left me feeling mentally weak & emotionally drained & the truth is that I didn’t handle it well.

I found that giving up had become really easy for me to do. In the six months I was sidelined & having to follow strict modifications, giving up was something I became accustomed to do. When the pain would start, I would quit. Some times I would quit even before I began because I was fearful. Giving up was so easy because I had such a good excuse to do so.

Whatever messages we fill inside our head is the mindset that will control our day. I did not realize how weak I had let it get. The good news is that you can strengthen your mindset, you can change it. Being mentally strong means you stay positive through adversity & are resilient when facing pressure, challenges & change.

This week I have taken any of the negative, self-limiting beliefs & changed them into positive & empowering thoughts. The result was a mile run outside yesterday that finished in 10:36 shaving four minutes off my pace since starting back. It never would have happened with the mindset from a month ago.

I have no doubt I will be wearing those jeans so very soon & the next time I put them on, I will not look like a busted can of biscuits.

Until Next Time~