A night where once the outcome would have been different.
A picture like this would have never been taken or shared:
My laundry basket that was supposed to be tackled sits untouched in the background.
My kitchen sink got left like this:
However, I was supposed to be in dream land by 10:30 & here I sit awake & writing.
This was a night where our routine did not go well. My little Bear ended up a mess from her nighttime routine. It was a night of awful pain from her cramps to loud screams and big tears that led to her getting sick. It was a very intense two hours. All three of us girls ended with tears.
Sheer exhaustion hit us all by the end. My plan of getting a load of laundry done never happened. My kitchen didn’t get cleaned like normal. My ab workout I had intended to do was left undone.
Once both my girls drifted off to sleep, I grabbed my yoga mat. I needed to unwind, to settle, to stop & take a deep breath in the moment.
There was a time where I would have turned elsewhere. I would have poured a glass of wine…and chances are a second glass. There was a time I would have gone to the kitchen & shoved whatever I could find in my mouth at a ridiculous fast pace with really zero idea of what I consumed.
As I allowed my body to stretch & relax, I found myself lost in a moment of self-pride. Proud that I was allowing myself to not be perfect & letting the laundry & dishes to stay untouched for tonight. Proud that I turned to a healthy activity versus trying to de-stress via ways that were not ever going to provide my any true comfort (Don’t get me wrong here….there are nights still where I will be pouring myself a glass of wine & will enjoy it very much!! But because I want it & not for comfort).
I’m growing daily to love the imperfect me. The me that doesn’t have to finish her to do list. The mom that isn’t afraid to allow the day’s events to lead her to tears. The woman that loves & respects her body & treats it that way.
There was day I would have been ashamed to admit most of this. But, I have promised myself to show the real me; never fake & not simply the highlight reel of my life.
Tonight, I had tears, I was stressed, I felt defeated. But, the changes in me I saw at the end of the night is allowing me to lay my head on my pillow now feeling & believing that “it will get better.”
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
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