I was in the best shape of my life.
I was getting ready to step my feet up to the starting line of an extremely difficult challenge.
A day that would change me.
A journey that already had changed me.
As I look back, part of me quickly points out that I am not the same person, almost as if I have gone backwards.
Physically, she is right….I am not at my best.
I cannot knock out a five mile easy run like it is nothing. I cannot hold a plank for minutes. I cannot squat a ridiculous amount of squats before I take a break. There are even clothes in my closet that I don’t like the way they fit right now.
But, on the other hand, I think I am at my best. Honestly, I am incredibly happy at this point in time.
At this time last year I had only been separated for a short time. I had endured daily struggles adjusting my life to what would become my new normal.
Since a year ago, I have traveled through divorce which is scary, emotional, stressful, depressing,….adjusting myself & my girls while learning to balance being single & keeping my girls’ needs as my number one.
I have had many fights, sleepless nights, tears dealing with my daughter’s health: testing, trial & errors of different regimens, decisions on surgery, & now finding the right recipe for her regimen still so her nights can be pain-free.
There has been a lot of life, a lot of changes, in the past year. Yes, at times, my fitness has had to be pushed to the side a little here & there.
But, today I think I am at my best. In the past year I have learned so much about myself, grown so much. I have learned to truly love exactly the person I am, regardless of who loves me or who does not want to accept my imperfections.
It is SO incredibly freeing to feel like this!!!
I know that I am enough; I am me. I have changed my life & built my present & my future to be around those who do love me for the person I am, the ones that push me to be better, those who believe in me & my dreams. I will never forget the people who were there to support me whether it was during my adjustments to single, my daughter’s surgery time or my dream as a health + fitness coach.
I have followed a passion of mine that I have been dreaming about for years – becoming a health + fitness coach to help others, to encourage others. I want to help change lives, I want to help shape the future one person at a time. I was led to the exact right person at the exact perfect moment in time to take this leap of faith.
So, this weekend I will be running a half-marathon. Nope, I am not planning on a PR. I am not even planning on running every stride. I have not trained for this; although I tried time & time again – my biggest focus lately has been on my daughter & that has simply taken so much of my time but also my energy. Sure, I got in a few miles here & there but not what I intended. I can say that I am proud that I haven’t quit; I haven’t given up.
But, this weekend is not about the medal or the finish time. First, it is about my buddy, Kingsley, who is my coach & I am his running legs. Secondly, it is about running & being with my bestie who has been such a rock for me in the past year. Without her, I don’t know where I would be today. Third, its for my girls, like always. They are proud of mom & her running & I truly believe that it is showing them a wonderful example.
Last, but not least, this weekend is about the journey in the past year. A journey, truly, of a thousand miles. My past has had many dark moments, but my present is glowing with such a bright light. There is no doubt in my mind that next year I will be ready for a full marathon again after a year filled with amazing love, endless laughter & incredible people to share every step with.
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
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