Another side road in my journey has arrived. Another stop sign has me at a complete halt. I’m sitting here thinking that the feeling I had in my gut last weekend during my half-marathon might have been right.
I can tell you this picture here is just before crossing the finish line. I cannot share the word coming out of my mouth in this moment in time….but I can tell you it was not a good one & it was repeated over & over. This moment, I had to give it all I had to cross the line; in this moment I was done physically, mentally & definitely emotionally. 
Last week my physical therapist recommended I get a second opinion on my leg, another set of eyes on me, since I still had yet to experience much relief. At this point, besides my race, I had really rested it for almost 2.5 months & had experienced really no progress.
Upon my exam with x-rays taken, the new doctor thought there was a potential spot that might have a stress fracture so I’m awaiting the appointment for an MRI at this moment. He also discussed the possibly of testing me for something called Compartment Syndrome which does not sound like anything I want to try to tackle. This is a condition where essentially your muscles do not have room to expand during exercise & the pressure can restrict blood flow. This can obviously cause some serious issues throughout your entire body.
I stood in the shower this weekend thinking back & realizing how long this has been an issue. I remember in May running a 5k with my daughter & thinking my calf was going to explode. I blamed the need for new running shoes & I continued to blame my shoes for months. I blamed a lack of stretching & flexibility & tried to work on these things.
You see, sometimes it just felt like a really tight muscle. But, as the time has flown by, it now is clearly beyond that. The pain has increased, I can no longer do much with my leg before the pain kicks in, at times it feels like it’s on fire, & by the end of the day now this mom is done & wants her leg up. This weekend as night time would approach, my girls were even growing concern for me as they could see mom was struggling.
I will admit sitting in the doctor’s office last week I had tears & as I got into my car I was crying. I was upset, heartbroken, disappointed knowing I cannot do anything with my lower body for who knows how long. I felt this way because it is a part of me. It’s the same concept when an athlete becomes sidelined. I love, I thrive off, my active lifestyle.
But, I quickly changed my tune. I made the choice right there that I was not going to focus on the negatives. I was not going to focus on what I cannot do or what I cannot control in my body.
I decided I would focus on the positives & what I can do. I would focus on what I could control & show up every day doing just that. I can work my arms & abs. As of right now, I am not able to do anything lower body. At first, he gave me a few options but when I told him I had done them recently & the pain kicked in quickly I was advised against doing them.
So what is my plan? I had a big goal I was working towards by the end of 2016; to lose 15 pounds. I was just getting started on a round of 21 Day Fix Extreme with a few of my coaches so this is still my plan. I can do three workouts from this program: Pilates, Upper Fix & Abs. My plan is to rotate between those three for now.
Where will the magic come from? Nutrition. I know that the calorie burn I will be getting is no where close to what I am used to burning.
Yes I know at times I am going to miss my workouts that have me dripping in sweat with every muscles shaking. But, I can still do something & for that I am grateful.
Until Next Time~
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