Last week I had to send the e-mail I had been dreading. Honestly, I did have tears. For a moment in time I thought this was just another sign that this was never going to happen for me. I believed it was time to give up.
“I need to drop my registration from the full marathon to the half, please.”
As I look ahead to next weekend, I could have two views.
I could choose to be bitter, I could choose to be negative. I could choose to give up on this goal for good. Heck, sometimes I fight the urge to give up on running all together because let’s be honest…sometimes it sucks & I hate it with a passion.
BUT….
I could choose to remember how blessed I am. I could choose to be grateful for the fact my body can move for any number of miles. I could choose to go out there with a smile & love every mile I travel. I could choose to look around at all the inspiring runners that will be passing me by as I walk.
Oh…don’t forget the signs. Reading the incredible signs the spectators are holding is always a treat!
So, despite that I am currently struggling to run even a half of a mile, I feel grateful. My physical therapist & I have switched gears a bit now that I have finally felt some relief. This morning I returned there for a fresh tape job to get me through the weekend as I continue to test out my limits. Currently, our goal has switched to getting me through my half-marathon next weekend & then we will move forward from there.
Next weekend I will step up to another starting line with that same pit in my stomach & the fear of not knowing what will happen. I will face that fear of not being able to make it to the finish line. I will face the fact I am only going half the distance of my actual goal.
Know what? Regardless of the distance I go, I will feel so grateful for being there. I will hold on to the fact that I am so blessed for a body that can move. I will cheer on with excitement for every runner that passes me and finishes before me.
After this race, I will keep running. No matter how many detours I have to take, no matter how many times I have to fight like hell to get back up, I have zero intention of giving up.
The life I live, the live I want to live, is a goal-oriented life. A life constantly in motion. A life that is full of fire + love. A life of constant growth.
A life that always seems to get reignited between a starting line & a finish line.
Until Next Time~
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