Sometimes I am truly amazed at how messages are delivered to us in the exact moment we need to hear them.
This post was written in my head earlier & had I done it a few hours ago the entire tone of this message would have been entirely different from the tone it will have now.
Following a backwards progress picture this morning that forced me to swallow the truth came a complete meltdown during my workout. It was not the morning I was hoping for.
So, first of all, we will start here. I cannot truly tell you the increase on the scale as I forgot to jump on it until after I had consumed my pre-workout, water during my workout & ate a banana! But, it’s up. The picture shows that & I could feel it this morning as I got up out of bed.
Honestly, it woke me up to the truth. I did not track this weekend but I felt as if I ate pretty darn well for me while camping! I mean, look at this food!
Sure I had a few s’mores {and beverages}…but for real, I don’t even put chocolate on my s’mores! The truth is that while I might have been eating foods that were good for me I was not measuring. The other truth is that for a camping trip I did do a hundred times better than most times camping when it came to my choices & the temptations I skipped over….BUT….typically, I would have run double-digit miles over the weekend. Those miles would have offset some of the extra calorie consumption.
But, I only ran one day and it was so freaking hard. My lungs were killing. The next day I had intentions of running but when I woke up my chest was not feeling good at all.
Okay, moving on to my meltdown this morning.
I jumped on the treadmill knowing that at this point in my training I am supposed to be running 8 miles today. I literally could not even push through a single mile this morning at a very slow pace on the treadmill.
I jumped off approximately three times & the third time I busted out in tears. Why? Because I have worked so damn hard to get to where I was. Mentally & physically. I had come so far & now I feel like this is day one of my fitness journey again. It is heartbreaking. To be honest, like 90 percent of people beginning a health + fitness journey, I simply feel like it is impossible to get to where I want to go.
I honestly sat there feeling so pissed off with such a horrible attitude searching for marathons to run in November in the states just south of me. I wanted to quit, I wanted to quit training completely, I honestly wanted to quit running & just give up.
Then, as I drove this morning from school to work, I turned on a podcast & it changed the tone of this post.
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain & pleasure instead of having pain & pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” – Tony Robbins.
Here is what my podcast reminded me of this morning:
There are two kinds of pain. Pain that poisons you & pain that propels you.
At first, I was allowing it to poison me. This is the one that makes you negative, turns you into a quitter, makes you beat yourself up over & over. This literally makes you suffer every day.
The pain that propels you is the one where you simply say, I’m not dead, this is not the end of the world. This is an experience that can propel me forward which will lead me to a better life.
The truth is that every moment in life is a neutral event that occurs. We are the ones that give it meaning.
So, I can give my moments this morning the following two meanings:
*This sucks. I can’t run. I can’t do this again. I should just give up & fail once again. I’m definitely not strong enough. My scale went up.
*This is not that big of a deal. You’ve been here before & came out stronger than ever. I’m thankful that I even have a body that can move, that my health is good enough to run. I’m going to keep fighting because I know I can. I’m so thankful I was given the courage to try.
This, my friends, is why I read or listen to personal development every single day. Because it is so easy to lose our focus & get caught up in the negativity. Because this simple eight minute podcast changed my entire day & my entire outlook of feeling like I’m back at day one.
So, here I am, maybe back at day one but I’m looking forward & will focus on the small baby steps that will move me forward day after day. That first step is not ever easy, but the courage to take it is a gift. I’ll gladly take it over & over if I have too because what you find at step two & on from there is pretty incredible & worth it every dang time.
Until Next Time~
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