Aug 28
2013

Glow Run & WIW!

Wow – it is already Wednesday this week! That’s awesome BUT it has been such a crazy week! For WIW I am so excited to say I am down 2.4 this week – Woot! Woot! Yes, I am totally tooting my own darn horn today. Why? Because this is the second week in a row where I’ve lost & I am finally feeling like I back on this darn journey for real!

Weigh In Wedneday


Anyway – this weekend was our first, of hopefully many, family 5k runs! My oldest daughter, Jacee, really wanted to do a run this summer…I’m not sure why exactly, other than maybe because she knows it is something mom enjoys & wanted to do it too! We did the “It’s Glow Time” 5k – so flippin’ fun!! My girls did AMAZING!! We finished in about 36-37 minutes & really the only time we stopped running was to hit up the water station! Here’s my fun pics from it!

Did I mention yet that my girls ROCKED IT OUT?! Then, after, they went & tore up the dance scene! Will hopefully do this again!
As for that losing weight thing, I’m really concentrating on my water & cutting out that stupid Diet Coke. I totally know that it is rotting away my insides, however, that never seems to be enough to get me to stop drinking it! I’ve got some Spark on order – CANNOT wait to try that out!
I’m also giving that whole clean eating thing a little more of a try. I say this right before I head off to Labor Day camping with my entire family….which typically equals junk food, food, beer, food, beer….get the picture? I have been eating somewhat clean-er than normal since Monday & I can tell you that I have been feeling so much better / less logged down / more energy since then. Sure, it could all be in my head as I try to convince myself this is something I need to do, but either way, something is working for me! 
And…I’m finally this week trying to pick out cute stuff from my closet, well at least I think it’s cute stuff, as opposed to lately when I’ve just tried to hide under my clothes. See….?!


One last fun bunch of pics, my hubby & I are celebrating 9 years of married bliss today. I really cannot believe it has already been 9 years – but it has been an amazing 9 years with a whole lot of love, laughter, & fun….so here is to many more years! 
 
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 6:36 pm Leave a Comment
Aug 13
2013

My Run Fell Short

So I am training for a half-marathon in October. My training schedule had me doing a 5 mile run this weekend that I didn’t get in with being away from home. So, I had to do it last night. 

We got up to our seasonal campsite & I started thinking of a 100 excuses as to why I shouldn’t go for a run. Even though, there was the smart girl voice in my head saying “You need to run. Don’t forget your goals.” Thankfully, I told my hubby I was thinking of so many excuses to not go & he told me to quit it & go! 

So, I did. I promised myself again that I was not going to stress about my pace. All I was going to do was put one foot in front of the other.

Wow..it was ROUGH! Last week I didn’t really run at all because I had tweaked my back & was in pain. I tried to keep going. Putting one foot in front of the other…..I kept pushing myself mentally:

– you aren’t really tired yet
– you still have more in you
– just keep going, it will get better
– you can

And then I just stopped. A 5 mile run wasn’t in my cards last night for many reasons to learn from – not excuses. 

– I didn’t get a proper snack before hand to fuel myself
– I forgot my running belt for my water at home
– My muscles were aching
– I hadn’t run in over a week
– I didn’t drink enough water in the afternoon

But, this time falling short was different for me. I didn’t beat myself up & call myself a failure. I was proud I tried, I was proud that I went for a run, I was proud I pushed hard until I was out of gas, I was proud that I learned something. After all, I went 3.5 miles so I still had a good calorie burn & got a good run done. 

So, now the plan will be to run & cross train during the week & catch back up with my training schedule with a 6 mile run this weekend! And IF I were to fall short again, I am going to remind myself of this:
Until Next Time ~
*krisha*

Posted By at 1:56 pm Leave a Comment
Aug 12
2013

A Slap in the Face & A Change

This weekend I came to a screeching hault…a huge wake-up call….actually more like a slap in the face…HARD

I’m miserable! I’m so mad at myself. I feel horrible when I look in the mirror. I feel horrible just sitting there.

I’m so incredibly down on myself & can’t figure out how I got here again. Even though, I want to move forward, I am afraid to fail again.

This is so NOT ME!! I am always the positive person. The person that says, “So what if you failed. At least you tried.” “Today wasn’t your day, but tomorrow will be. Let it go.” And on…and on…and on. I always have a positive thing to say to anyone!

So, why can’t I say any of that to myself? Why am I always so hard on myself? Why can’t I forgive myself when I mess up or don’t meet a goal or have an off day? Right now I call myself a “failure” every fricken day.

So, yes, I’m imperfect. That’s where my new blog name is coming in to play. I do not expect anyone else in my life to be perfect, except myself. Why? It’s time I move away from that & learn to love my flaws, my failures, my attempts, and myself. This will be a deep & difficult journey for me….I have always looked at just my flaws & imperfections.I have always felt like I didn’t measure up. Moving forward…today I find the new me & learn to love her.

Sami's Shenanigans

Weekend recap – we had a blast! It was our annual boat & camping weekend with my in-laws, brother-in-law, and my hubby’s cousin & his wife. So… yes, I consumed too much beer! Probably too much food to, but not even close to as much as normal! 


My girls had a blast….and they are way too cute!
 Really…it’s August & I saw leaves changing color on the river! WTH?!
 My favorite part of camping…
 This picture makes me cringe….yes, I’m the big one on the left….incredibly uncomfortable, can you tell?!


So, Imma gonna learn how to like myself again so I can get moving on to a better me! Here we go y’all…I can do this!
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 2:26 pm 2 Comments
Jul 31
2013

Running Again!

So I recently was hating running! I wrote about it here last week. Despised it, never wanted to do it again. So, I did take a week or two off from it. But, I kept thinking about that darn half-marathon in October that I’m already registered for. 

I was struggling…..Because I am not a quitter. Because a half is something I have said I wanted to do for a few years. Because I know there are people in my life who don’t think I can do it or that I will do it.

So, I set the goal on Sunday to run 4 miles on Monday & to see how that went. I made the following agreement with myself:

– I would pay no attention to my pace or care what my pace is.
– I wasn’t going to wear my heart rate monitor so I couldn’t pay any attention to how many calories I was or wasn’t burning.
– If I needed to walk, it was okay.
– Don’t look back to what your pace was last summer, Summer 2012 is over, this is 2013 so who cares?
– I really wanted to be back in 50 minutes.
Well…I put on my music & ran….4.35 miles. The longest run I’ve had since last summer. It felt great. No, it wasn’t easy. But, it was rewarding. It was relaxing. It was quality time with me, myself & I. No pressure to be anyone I am not. I only walked three times for 15 seconds & that was only after 3 decent size hills. 
So, I’m back. On track with my half-marathon schedule & ready to train.
Pretty Strong Medicine

And for today’s WIW, I’m down from last week. I’m moving forward!!

Until Next Time ~
*krisha*

Posted By at 1:11 pm 5 Comments
Jul 24
2013

WIW & Moving Foward

Pretty Strong Medicine 

So here we are again on a Wednesday. I did get on the scale this morning but I’m not sure if it was up or down from last week because I was on a scale break-up for the most part then (but, it’s down from a few days ago after I kick my own butt)!  However, I’m back in a relationship with it for now. I think right now I need the feedback, but I am also reminding myself daily that the ### does NOT define me. If I start going back to being my worst enemy weighing myself, I’ll have to break up with that witch again! 

But for now – I’m moving forward. Yesterday I admitted how much **It Just Got Real for me trying to get dressed for work. I’m over being mad at myself. I’m moving forward!

I am going to get back to my basics, the “Honeymoon Phase” with Weight Watchers is the term I prefer to use! Back to tracking, which I have been HORRIBLE at for the past year (probably WHY the scale is up), I set back up my 4 times a day reminders on my phone to track & Imma Gonna Rock This!

I’m also super pumped because I just ordered ChaLean Extreme the other day – PUMPED! I intend on doing a hybrid schedule of that with Turbo Fire! 

Yes, I love to run. Yes, I am suppose to run a half-marathon in October. Yes, I used to love running. I couldn’t wait for my run every day. I’m not sure why, but right now, I loathe it almost. I don’t want to do it & it makes me grumpy! No, having a half-marathon on the schedule doesn’t motivate me right now (I was training last summer for it & was rocking until I had to stop via my Orthopedic doc due to a pinched nerve that was killing me when running). When I had to stop running, I deferred my registration to this fall but now I don’t like running. I’m going to take a couple weeks off from focusing on it & maybe that desire & fire will return!

On another note, we celebrated my baby’s FIFTH birthday on Saturday….how is she 5? 

 It was suppose to be a super sunny gorgeous day……the weather peeps were a bit “off target!” But, we still  had a blast & the sun did come up eventually!


Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Posted By at 2:13 pm Leave a Comment
Jul 23
2013

**It Just Got Real!

Really….this morning was the last straw…..Really, really, I had to try on four, yes FOUR pairs of pants before “settling” on the fifth pair as being okay – meaning I didn’t look like I was spilling out of them or busting seams or had a gigantic muffin top! These pants I speak of….were once too big! I had to wear a belt to keep them nicely in place.

Oh! AND a top I tried on, a size LARGE that I almost got rid of once because it was really too big & actually made me look bigger with the way it fit me….was WAY.TOO.FLIPPIN’.SMALL.

SO, it’s real y’all! No…not going backwards anymore. Not going to keep hatin’ on myself for what I’ve allowed to come back on my butt, hips, waist, legs…..I’m moving forward.

So here’s to today. Here is to me getting healthy again. Here is to me treating food as fuel & not as a habit, hobby, or emotional satisfaction or fulfillment.

Here is to me kicking some *ss….watch out peeps! Here is a better me:

Until Next Time ~
*krisha*

Posted By at 3:54 pm Leave a Comment
Jul 17
2013

AND I’m BACK!

So I took a long vacation away from the world of blogging. Between softball season, end of the school year life, summer starting & ignoring how I am still constantly failing at this taking & keeping weight off sort-of-thing I had disappeared. But, here I am today, back and ready….I hope.

And I’m back today linking up for WIW as I did so many previous times…only with different bloggers this time!
Pretty Strong Medicine

A couple of weeks ago I again realized the super negative effect the scale was having on me. I mean, really, it is a number & should not define my self-worth every morning. So, we broke up. As we broke-up, I had a week at the camper with my ENTIRE family (while going back & forth to work) & then followed that week up with a road trip & vacation to Florida with my hubby & the girls. Today, just to check in, I got on the scale. No, I didn’t love the number at all. I wish I was not in that decade of numbers.  But was I surprised? No. I am actually down about a pound & a half since the last time I got on it but I also can tell it’s back up from where it was within that time. I’m not going to dwell on it though. I had a GREAT vacation in Florida. I did drink what I wanted & let myself eat what I wanted at dinner but tried to keep things in perspective for breakfast & lunch. I have no regrets with how I did. I could have done better, but it was my choice to not stress about it.  

But, now it’s time to get focused. I hate what I see in the mirror every morning, afternoon & evening. I have truly put myself in the lowest spot on my list of priorities, and I’m not proud. It’s time to fix it. It’s time to work on me. It’s time to take care of myself so I can be a better spouse, mom & friend. 

About two years ago I spent the summer feeling AMAZED with myself. I had just become a Weight Watchers Lifetime member & I was SO CONFIDENT. I wore shorts & didn’t think twice about it. I felt good in my swimsuit! 

Unfortunately, it was before gaining back about twenty pounds.

Sometimes I truly think I’m just scared. When I used to hear people say something about having fear about losing weight, I could never figure it out! I mean, what is there to be afraid of with losing weight? In my current situation in digging deep inside myself, I feel it. For me, it’s a feel of failure….again. I failed. I put back on 20 pounds after working my butt off (literally) for 3 years. Here I sit having done exactly what I said I would NEVER do. 

I am afraid that I will regain it again. I am afraid that I will fail. 


But, so what. Time to get over my fear & move forward. A fear of failure will only hold me back & I will continue to look back in the past. So over it! So ready to move forward & take it one day at a time.
So, here goes nothing. I’m moving on. I’m moving forward. I’m moving away from my past failures. 

And some pics from our wonderful vacation:

First time in the ocean for my little ladies!

 They never wanted to leave!

 Of course we had to go searching for seashells!

 Treasured family time!

 Yes, the cool mom I am let them get their hair done!

 Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Posted By at 5:40 pm 2 Comments
Apr 10
2013

WIW….Again

This week has been a week of looking back. I lost 55 pounds on WW after joining when my youngest daughter was 2 weeks old. That would have been August of 2008. 
I lost that, slowly, reminding myself often of the saying “Slow & Steady Wins the Race.” 
I went for months where I never even had a gain, I posted a loss every time….might not have been a big loss but down is always down in my eyes.
I maintained that 55 pound lost for about a year & a half when suddenly my scale started creeping up no matter what I did. I couldn’t figure it out & kept trying new things. 
Finally after a year, I started researching my birth control & have recently changed that in hopes that was an issue.
So what did I do? How did I lose that weight that is different from now?
That has been my focus this week.
I worked the plan.
I tracked in my 3 month journal pretty much every day.
I would enjoy a cheat meal, or sometimes it was a day.
I worked out & enjoyed my workout.
I made myself a priority in my “To Do” list every day.
More importantly:
I told myself that every day was a NEW day.
If I screwed up yesterday, it didn’t matter anymore, because today was a day to make a better choice.
I was nice & understanding to myself. 
I didn’t beat myself up if I screwed up, I accepted I was human & not perfect.
I didn’t say mean things to myself, such as “you suck.”
Or my current favorite one “you are such a failure.”
I didn’t look in the mirror & say “Wow, you look FAT.”
I looked in the mirror & saw progress, I wasn’t looking for perfection.
I sit here currently about 15 pounds up from where I was really maintaining, sure I got lower than that, but I didn’t maintain that lower #. 
So what? Get over it! Move forward.
I am quite certain that I’m not the first person in the world of weight lost that has regained some weight. 
So today’s WI is up 0.5 from last week, but down 2.8 from where I was when I stepped on the scale on Monday morning. So, yes, I’m happy with that. 
I have done better the past few days planning my food & sticking with it!
I’m not expecting myself to be perfect & I’m not going to deprive myself from things I love. 
I will work them into my plan.
I will pick a cheat meal for the week….(not sure which day this will be yet for this weekend) but it will stop at a meal, not an entire weekend like this last one!
 Because that is how I lost my weight in the first place.
Here’s some pics for the week:
We had Easter at my parents on Sunday – we have such beautiful kids!
Insanity:
This was the gorgeous sunrise the other morning. Isn’t God’s art amazing?

 Until Next Time ~
*krisha*
 
Posted By at 2:31 pm 3 Comments
Apr 3
2013

WIW…Moving Forward

It’s Wednesday again! The week is at the half-way point & for that I’m very thankful!

button
I’m only going to mention my WI as an “I’m up” but I’m down from where I was on Monday morning so I’m going in the right direction!

This week had its stresses for sure. Friday I ended up spending 12 hours in the ER with my youngest. She ended up with some kind of virus last week and became SERIOUSLY DEHYDRATED. She looked awful, I felt awful. She had some numbers showing on her lab work that were scary & that was potentially pointing at some more serious problems/diseases. However, finally, yesterday her lab work showed improvement & yes, I’m praising God for two healthy girls. Plus, she is still adorable even sick.
I have learned a lot about myself this week. As I mentioned yesterday, I asked myself The Hard Questions this week. Why am I struggling? Why am I choosing things that are awful for me? What am I afraid of? And the list of questions goes on & on. I realized over the weekend that my issues with food do go deeper than I have ever admitted. Looking back I see that on Friday at the hospital. I was stressed, nervous, upset, and all I could think about all day long was food! Any food! When my husband finally brought me food in the evening (this was after not eating a lunch) I ate it so fast I never even tasted it. My mind was thinking, “once I eat this food, I will feel better. I will be more relaxed. It will take away my fear.” Obviously, it did none of that. I am depending on food to do things it will NEVER do instead of viewing food as fuel for my body. Fuel in which I can put in the premium fuel or I can put in the fake cheap stuff & always feel like I’m running on empty. 

So, this week’s WI might not have the results from last week we all hope for in terms of the scale. But, to me, I do think I’ve lost…..I’ve gained a lot of knowledge & insight about myself that I know is going to take me forward. 

Here’s a couple pictures from a quick trip this Spring Break weekend – who needs to leave Michigan for some beach fun during Spring Break? Oh wait….I wish we were not in winter coats & gloves. Please spring weather SHOW UP!


Until Next Time ~
*krisha*

Posted By at 1:21 pm 4 Comments
Apr 2
2013

Asking the Hard Questions

Why?

Do you have any idea how many times I ask myself this question every single day? I should really count them in a day to see how bad it really is. I seem to have zero self-control lately in any area of life.

I sat myself down & had a very long heart-to-heart talk & found the questions I need to ask myself. 

Why?
Why do I keep sabotaging myself?
Why do I choose the foods that I know are not right?
Why do I choose the foods that will make me feel awful?
Why do I choose to shove the food in my mouth after I tell myself how bad it is?
Why can’t I seem to pick something that is healthy or in my calorie/point range?
Why don’t I want to feel good?
Why do I pull myself in the opposite direction of success?
Why don’t I take a little bit of time in the day to plan to set myself up for success tomorrow?
Why don’t I put to use all the tools I have for this healthy lifestyle?
Why don’t I see my excuses are only hurting me?

What am I afraid of?
Am I scared to lose it and gain some back again?
Am I afraid I can’t lose it so if I don’t REALLY try than I didn’t fail?
When will I fully realize that food does not make me feel better about myself, a situation or life in general?
When will I realize junk food does not give me energy & that Reese’s peanut butter cups are not the answer to the 3:00 afternoon wall I hit?
Why don’t I realize the only person I’m cheating or failing is myself?
When will I truly make this a lifestyle versus a diet?
When will I start really living life instead of trying to cover myself up on the sidelines?
But maybe the best question is:
Why don’t I believe in myself? 

I’ve struggled for as long as I can remember with my weight. Okay, not fully in high school because I was so active playing sports. But, even then, I wasn’t overweight but always felt so much bigger than most of my friends…partly in thanks to my thunder thighs. I’m starting to realize that my relationship with food is a much bigger problem than I ever did realize. It’s time for me to dig deep inside, find my true issues & correct them. 

This will be a long journey…but once I am truly the best me, I can be the best wife, mom, sister……
Again, I’m a work in progress searching for the answers.
Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Posted By at 6:30 pm Leave a Comment