Jan 2
2015

Magic.

Blessed. Inspired. Motivated.

Yes, magic is what you could say. 

It is so scary….you feel terrified down to your core…you body is filled with fear…your body almost shakes with anxiety as your mind races. 

That is how it feels when you try to force yourself to take that first step out of your super cozy & warm comfort zone. 

But, all you need is a baby step to get started. That is it. A tiny step outside that zone.

And then magic happens. 

You grow. You inspire others to grow. You find inspiration & become someone’s inspiration. You get back so much if you are willing to take that step outside of your comfort zone.

I was terrified sharing publicly my blog. I was stripping myself down & saying “here is Krisha.” I believe, in life, we all feel we have to show an image. An image that might not be true to who we really are. In my hometown, I was a “Larson,” I was suppose to have a certain kind of “perfect” life, certain interests, certain friends, certain clothes, certain beliefs. Over the years, I did become used to people looking at me and seeing who they thought I should be or who they thought I was. But, it bothered me…..mostly… because I did not know who I was. 

I think we all search to find ourselves, create ourselves, define ourselves. It is a scary process. Especially because some don’t want to see the real you. Some will leave your journey. While others will just refuse to see you at all. 

But, none of this happens without stepping outside that comfort zone. That first step can be a journey of a million miles. My daily goal is to always be better than the person I was yesterday. A better woman. A better mom. A better daughter & sister. A better friend. A better runner. A stronger faith. I am inspired to be healthier, stronger & faster. Better. Constant growth. But in order for any of this to happen, I have to push myself. I have to give myself the opportunity to grow. I have to give myself the chance to fail, the chance to fall hard, the chance to get back up after being knocked down. I have to allow myself the chance to be successful, to dream, to think big & to look past the “box” of simple. 

Some of the messages I have received since sharing my post have brought tears to my eyes. They made my step worth it. 

“I love that you’re as raw as reality is.”
“You are an inspiration, and motivator, and badass that very few people have!” 
“So beautifully written & inspiring.”
“Thanks for being real.”
“You are some kind of inspirational.”
“All I can say is that’s the girl I remember.”
“You have such strength & are such a role model for your girls.”
“Such a great mind, spirit, mama, person you are!”
“What a beautiful post.”
“You are the woman we all wish to be.”
“Thank you so much for sharing.”




Truthfully, those messages were needed today. A day where I re-read my own words a 100 times… sometimes you realize you might have lost some friendships already, but sometimes that slap in the face you get about how far gone you have to move away to shield yourself from continued hurt or let-down does make for days of loneliness, days of memories you push distant & the feelings of hurt when you thought they would always be there. But, this is life. It is not always pretty, not always easy & can feel, at times, like a constant uphill struggle. But, you keep moving. You keep pushing forward. 

Speaking of uphill struggle….running. The relationship that always gives you more than it ever takes! I enjoyed my first outside winter run this morning. Umm…we can use the word brutal. My lungs were heavy & the gusts of wind made me feel like the weakest woman ever! I got in 3.2 miles at a pace of 10:29 which I thought would be WAY slower. I focused on the changes from my running coach & physical therapist and finally began to feel comfortable with those changes! I have gigantic running goals for 2015. 100 days of running for 2015, 100 miles ran in January, 40 day run streak….all leading up to what will more than likely be my last full marathon ever (thinking we will go back to half marathons after this one) in October. Races are planned out. Still working on tweaking my training plan a little to fit ME! That is the great thing about this past year – I have learned a lot about what works best for me & my body & can tweak accordingly! 

I need visual reminders of my goals. I need to see daily where I am at achieving these goals. I have to keep it visual so I don’t forget what I wanted to achieve on those days that I just don’t wanna! 



So, my friends, push yourself outside that comfort zone! Allow yourself to be inspired & to inspire. Set some goals, big or small. The great things about goals is even when you fall short of it, you still won because you tried! As for me, I’ll be here running through life as raw and real as one can. 

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Posted By at 12:53 am Leave a Comment
Dec 31
2014

A Look Back & A Step Forward



So…I am stepping back into my blog. I took a time out with some life events and adjustments that needed to remain private. There has been a whole lot of “life” that has happened to me in the past six months. I have learned more in these months about life, myself & the people in my life than I thought a person could ever learn in such a short time. Today, I step out of my comfort zone & open up a little & share. Share what I’ve seen & how I’ve grown. Today, I might remind some that you never really know what is hidden behind someone’s smile. Today, I commit to getting back to my blog for 2015… in it, I promise to be real, even when it’s ugly, and it will encompass my healthy living & running but life as a whole too. 
 The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that you will never know how strong a relationship truly is until you find yourself at your lowest. You’ll never know if you’re truly important to someone in your life, until you find yourself alone & in need of help. You’ll never know if you cry out for help if anyone will hear you. You will think that those who you thought would always be there for you, usually aren’t. You will lose friendships & relationships. You will see that someone you thought was a friend is suddenly just an acquaintance. I now believe that I no longer have the time or energy or even the emotions to spend on anything that is fake or is less than mediocre. I no longer want to spend my time with a group of people who make you feel like you are all alone when you are actually in a room filled with people & alone is the last thing you should feel. This feeling is one of the absolute worst feelings I believe one can feel. But, day in & day out, your eyes open up to the truth. 

Yes, I find it sad to lose people as you grow. I have many treasured memories & life events shared with some of these. But I refuse to keep my eyes closed and not see that some are only there for you because they think they have to be, when it’s convenient, when time are easy, when you are just like them & fit inside their world,  or only when the spotlight is on you.

 But while you lose people in life, you will gain new ones or those that were truly there for you become stronger than ever. You find your rocks in life. Those random messages from real friends that just say “hope your day is going better today” or “just thinking about you & love you” or “hey, let’s go get a drink & catch up. I miss you” become smiles in your day. You will have old friends that once were distant with life come back into your life like you have never missed a beat together.  You will see who your family & friends are. The ones who just love you for YOU & not for who they thought you were or wanted you to be. JUST YOU. These are the relationships you will protect & treasure as you move forward on to the next chapter of your life. 

This was a year of true personal strength. There were so many moments this year I found myself at my lowest of lows & often alone at those times. All of Laynee’s medical tests and appointments this year were such a struggle, a mom filled with the deepest of fears with tests of very scary scenarios or diseases or cancers, sitting alone and waiting. Again those moments of messages from those who cared meant more to me than they will ever understand….just to know someone was taking the time out of their day to care & pray for you & your baby, never “too busy” to stop & reach out. They actually bring tears to my eyes again just thinking of them, to know I wasn’t truly alone, they were with me. I have prayed for answers, prayed for progress, prayed for possibilities; we have been shot down many times. The most recent being when her physical therapist looked at me & told me there was no point in continuing as we had yet to make any real progress.  I had high hopes for her PT, so as a mom hearing that, I again felt deflated for “Team Laynee.” We have thankfully ruled out many scary possibilities, however the girl does have daily things she has to do that none of us would want & this spring we will be meeting again with her surgeon after these couple of rounds of research currently to explore some possible surgery options. We sure make a great team & I count my blessings daily that she is still so healthy compared to so many.  

The biggest lesson I learned this year was about my relationship with myself. I don’t want to share too many personal details that shouldn’t be shared publicly. But, I had a lot of work to do on me. Krisha was buried, for years, she lived her days hiding so much & truly believed she wasn’t important & was weighed down by so many negative thoughts & feelings, never feeling like she was enough. That is all I will say here out of respect of not sharing too much. 

But, at the beginning of 2014, I looked in the mirror & admitted I was tired. I was tired of not being me. I needed to find Krisha again. I needed to be me. I needed to be me for me, but also for my girls. I was not the woman I wanted them to look up to and admire. So…I slowly made changes. Mile after mile ran, I unburied myself a little more with every step. I began to feel life again, I began to feel everything, at times too deeply…I used to be a deep complex thinker, a girl who could write words in a way that would stir one’s emotions…I found her again….sometimes feeling that deep can be a curse along with a blessing. But, either way, I made progress with every mile I ran & began to feel again. 


I realized that in order to fix the empty nothingness, the broken feelings, I had to make changes. I had to move forward. I had to let go. I had to turn the page I was stuck on…the page I had tried to rewrite a million times with no success. I had to dig deeper than ever to get the page to turn. 

I realize many people think I am obsessed with running. (Of course my argument first being….you can sit & watch TV for 2 hours, while I run, but somehow I am the one with an unhealthy obsession?!) I owe running so much, it’s a relationship that has certainly given more than I’ll ever realize. It was running that allowed me to find myself again. It was on the road & the trails that I found my strength. It was out there putting one foot in front of the other that I built my confidence back up & realized I was enough. I began to believe I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it.

There are experts out there that say that a runner, especially a newer one like me, who trains for a marathon all by themselves with no training group or running buddy, doesn’t usually complete the task. I read that at the beginning of my training. But I felt this was a journey I needed to take on my own. It was a journey of many miles all alone. I was the only one that I could depend on. I was the only one who could say stop or keep going. I was the only one that could make myself do it. It was all me. Every single step. Out there training I had way more failures than successes. I fell short more times than not. I wanted to quit a million times. I told myself I wasn’t good enough or strong enough. But, I dug deeper. I knew in order to turn that page that I could not get rewritten in a positive way, I had to keep moving. There was no other choice. The training journey was alone. The drive to the marathon was alone. The pre-race was alone. It struck me how alone the journey had truly been throughout the race. When I saw so many families & kids with signs proud of their runner throughout the miles, I had tears. But I reminded myself that I was proud of myself now & that is what I had to focus on, so as always, I trudged on to the finish line. At the finish line was when my tears I had held back all race came down as I had one of the biggest surprises in my life & a moment I will treasure always with my daughter & her best friend jumping out in front of me along the side of my best friend. I was never really alone, I had cheerleaders cheering me on, I had angels pushing me when I wanted to quit. 

My life is my journey. I know that many will not understand it, will not try to understand it, or will just simply pass judgment. But, I’ve learned that this is okay. I don’t allow this to bother me anymore. I don’t live my life so that others can understand it or so that it fits inside a “box” like others. My goal is to live a life filled with my loved ones creating memories, laughing, spreading true smiles, supporting, and sharing much love.

So in 2015, I start the page of a new chapter. 2014 has taught me to not hide who I am or how I am feeling anymore. It taught me to never let Krisha disappear again. It reminded me that sometimes you just have to be your own biggest fan. It proved that you can face some dark fears alone & make it through them. It allowed me to hit some lows but to climb back up the hill. It pushed me when I felt I was stuck in the middle of the ocean with no shore in sight & my arms & legs were tired of swimming & screaming to give up. It encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone & allow magic to happen. It gave me the blessings of many, many true & wonderful friendships. It saddened me at how many relationships I had to lose along the way. I started to believe that I am enough. It made me see I need to surround myself with those people who believe in me & encourage me to grow. It allowed me to grow to be a strong, independent woman who is back to living life as fully as one can with a true smile & holding the hands of her two beautiful babies who are the most wonderful blessings she will ever have. 

So I will write my next chapter. The page has turned. The previous chapter has ended. Today I take all of life’s lessons & put one foot in front of the other. I will walk tall & proud, for I love the woman I am now. I fought hard to become her & the most important lesson I have learned is that I need to love myself first. 
 Happy New Year, my friends! May your 2015 be filled with love & laughter & may you create memories to cherish forever!

 Until Next Time
~*krisha*~

Posted By at 6:52 pm 1 Comment
Oct 28
2014

I’m a MARATHONER!

I have sat down to write this post many times since I became a marathoner on September 21st. For some reason, I just can’t seem to find the words.

How does one sit down & write about something like that?! I mean if you want to talk about a WAVE of emotions…..wow!

So here were some randomness thoughts during the run if you ever wonder what goes through someone’s mind when they run that far:

First few miles:
~ Look at all these restaurants. I wonder what will sound good later. What will be my treat meal on the way home today? Mexican? Pizza? Cheeseburger & fries? Hmm…decisions, decisions!! Definitely will have earned it! (Little did I know that my stomach would be so crampy & screwed up that I wouldn’t be able to eat a real meal for the next 2 days!!)
~ I wonder if I’ll be able to stay with the pacers the whole race. Maybe, it would be awesome!
~ I like to look at all the bibs to see who is in it for the long haul today & who is doing the half.
~ I’m pretty sure I’m already jealous of those running the half already.
~ Oh look at these cute families holding up signs for their runners. Insert sad face as I miss mine & am here alone.
~ Oh good, here is the split for the full & the half. This should thin things out a bit….holy cow! I’m like alone now. I didn’t realize how few full runners there were. Wow – I’m doing something pretty incredible, huh? Something that not many accomplish, huh?

Middle of the race:
~ Man, look at the calf muscles on these runners. I want my legs to look like that. I wonder if they ever will. Seriously!
~ I think I hate running. No I love it. No, I’m pretty sure I hate it.
~ I wonder if I would win the award for the most random playlist. I think I just went from Eminem, to Jamie Grace, to Jason Aldean, to Guns N’ Roses, to Salt-n-Pepa. Yup.
~ Seriously, there should not be hills allowed when running this far. It should be flat.
~ So we have gone from the State Capitol building, to MSU campus, to a random trail, to now farm country….I wonder where to next.
~ Rain & wind now…really? How about just one or the other?! Please not both!

Rest of the race:
~ Why did I sign up for this?
~ This completely sucks.
~ I am in so much pain….can I just cut the knee off?
~ Having a baby was so much easier. Less painful.
~ I will never do this again. Pretty sure I’m done doing this marathon thing.
~ Really…pouring rain? On wooden slippery bridges? With this knee?
~ I want to quit.
~ Don’t slip! Don’t slip! Whew….if you would have gone down there, no way would I have been able to get back up!
~ You’re so close now, keep moving.
~ I miss my family. I’m lonely. I wish someone was here to watch me finish this goal.
~ Can I quit now?
~ So close, you’ve ran this far 100s of times.

The Finish Line:
~ Oh I see it!
~ It’s so close. But one more wooden wet bridge.
~ Why is some kid jumping in front of me with a bright pink sign – what does the sign say?
~ “Surprise mom!”
~ What?!
~ Who is that?!
~ Oh my!! It’s Jacee & Savannah….talk about emotions!
~ Finish line! Get to finish line!

My knee killed me from mile 8. My favorite friend, Roberta, surprised me with bringing over my oldest daughter & her daughter! Seriously brought tears to my eyes. The two girls ran me into the finish line & it is a moment I will never forget.

I wanted to quit at least 100 times. But, with most things in life that we attempt to do, we must always just keep putting one foot in front of the other. That’s what I did. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how weak I felt. No matter how much I wanted to just say “I quit.” This was something I needed to do. I needed to prove to myself how tough I was. I wanted to show others that you can do anything you set your mind to. This was about having the courage to step out of my comfort zone.

And a day or two later, after my soreness lessened, I thought that maybe, just maybe I think I want to give the 26.2 distance one more chance next fall. Once I build up those muscles in my legs. That feeling of crossing a finish line that is that BIG is so enticing to me!

Posted By at 2:43 am Leave a Comment
Sep 21
2014

The Time is Here!

26.2

Yes.

This is it.

I’m going for it.

A marathon is one of those things I said was impossible for me. In fact, so impossible that I even had a list of excuses as to why I could never do it.

But like most excuses, they were totally lame.

Do you ever wonder what exactly goes into training for a marathon? I can’t deny that this training has been one of the most grueling things I’ve traveled through before!

Here is my brainstorm of a list:
Almost 500 miles ran
Maybe around 5,500 minutes spent putting one foot in front of the other
Every energy chew & gel on the market tried out I think
$$$ in chiropractic care
Weeks spent chilling (or screaming) with my yoga mat & foam roller
$$ in iTunes songs
90 minutes one way drive time here
ROLLS of KT tape used
Protein shakes & chocolate milk consumed
Gallons of tears spent due to pain, failure or pride
Hours spent icing knees & shins
2 pairs of running shoes

This journey….this journey has taught me so much already & now the time has come to stand at the starting line! 

I have learned that doubts will stop you every single time.
That mean voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do something, needs to be shut down!
That I am really only as strong as I believe I am.
Anyone can keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes pain is real…and other times it is only in your mind. If its real, stop.
I am the only one that can make me get out there & do it.
I am the only one who can stop me.
Can’t cannot be allowed.
I have learned sticking to a plan is important to hit a goal.
There will be ups & downs along the way, ride them out.
I will want to quit a million times.
Remember why you started when you think of quitting.
Remember how far you’ve come & don’t look back.

Today’s road to the run:
Of course Starbucks was a stop!
Around the race! 
State Capitol Building
 View from my hotel room!
 Is this carb loading?!!! Have to have just 2 to calm my nerves!
Carb loading: this was fabulous, however I had to force myself to eat due to my extreme pre-game day jitters!! 
Alright – got my stuff laid out & ready to go for the morning! Man, it takes a lot of stuff to run a marathon!!! I used to think running was a pair of shoes!
 Ready!
 Are these signs that this has been hard on my body? I’d probably think I was crazy for going through this too!

I’ll be back in a day or two, unless they haul me off on a stretcher tomorrow, to fill you in on how 26.2 miles feels…..even if I cross on all FOUR!

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Posted By at 1:31 am Leave a Comment
May 28
2014

Goals & WIW!

Weigh In Wednesday


First, I’ll start with my WIW. This morning I was down again….to a number I haven’t seen in at least a year! I was so happy & leapt off the scale!!! But regardless what a ## tells me, I feel amazing right now!

So I will totally admit that I am probably the world’s biggest dork about goals & how everyone should have goals they are working towards. I mean, if you don’t have a goal, where are you trying to go? I am so passionate about them that last year when I was still coaching High School Softball I had a practice on how to set goals & how they need to be measureable with deadlines & a plan of action. I’ve found if I, personally, don’t have a goal I just coast day-to-day with no real purpose. I mean, let’s face it, I’m a boring person at that point in time. 
I always try to have a fitness goal….some have a very specific deadline while others are just that I want to be able to do it again someday & however long it takes to get there is just what it is. For the month of May I had a challenge of running 50 miles. At first, I thought this was going to be such an easy, simple task. I had almost 16 miles done by the 10th….and then that was my 10k race & my foot had been struggling with some pain for the two weeks leading up to the race, so I gave myself “a few days off” which of course turned into a week. Then, little league games really took off & I found myself struggling to achieve this. But, I kicked things up this weekend & with just three running days to go, I only have 10.3 miles left to hit this goal. 
If I wasn’t working towards this goal, there are a few runs over the weekend I might have skipped out on. 
Don’t get me wrong, I have failed over and over and over…oh wait……
 and over again. 

I have set goals & didn’t even get to the half-way point of achieving them. 

If I was to be honest, more times than not, I have probably failed. 

But, the secret is that I keep trying.
I didn’t & won’t give up! 

  

Right now, I am proud to say I’ve been beating my goals! I’m winning! 
One goal I’ve had set since starting up running again was to run a mile under 10:00 again. Yes, I totally realize to many this is the speed of a turtle. But, it isn’t for me & I am so over comparing myself & my pace to anyone else. I did this last night! Went out for a 3 mile run & my first mile was 9:52….I totally said “YES” out loud & did a leap in the air….three seconds later, the cutest baby bunny scared me & I jumped again. I was thankful it was in a section of the road where there were no houses & no people to watch me jumping all around! My overall pace for the 3 miles ended up at 10:18 which is such a HUGE improvement for me! 
My second goal that I have finally acheieved:  a FULL PUSH-UP! Not on my knees! This has been one I’ve wanted to accomplish for the longest time…since my shoulder surgery & at times, I thought it was probably impossible. But, last night I even squeaked out 2 sets of 10….on the second set the last few were super tough & I’m quite certain I grunted. But, I finished.
The BEST part to me about hitting your goal is the thought of “Success breeds success.” Like, for real, I don’t want to stop doing push-ups. I would like to drop down to the ground right now in my office & whip out a set. I want to put on my running shoes & go try to bust out another fast mile or a run with an improved past. Winning is fun! 
This is SO TRUE!

You know I have read, talked to, followed others who always say they are addicted to working out. That it is the best part of their day. I always rolled my eyes, thinking “Really?” I had the mindframe that my workouts were always going to have to be something squeezed in my day that I would resent because I would really want to be playing on Pinterest or watching T.V. or whatever else I could find to pass the time.
But, right now, I get it. I feel this way. If I’m running in the evening, I cannot wait to go out there & do it & think about my run all day long. In the morning, I pop up ready to tackle  my workout & give myself such an awesome start to rock out the day. 
Again, I have failed so many times on this journey. I know I will fail again. There have been so many times I have wanted to throw in the towel & say “Screw it; I’m clearly meant to be fat & unhealthy.” 

But, in the end, I knew I wanted “it.” I wanted the kind of healthy lifestyle where I get up in the morning feeling incredible with a list of goals to accomplish & when I lay my head on the pillow at night I can smile with satisfaction & pride & that sense of accomplishment.
Currently, I am almost struggling with the feeling of bragging or of sharing too many victories in some of the groups I’m in. That feeling that everyone wants to tell you just to shut up or that she has it all put together & doesn’t need the group! But, I need the group as much as everyone else does. My hopes in sharing my winnings & failings daily with groups I am in, is that I can inspire someone else to keep going.  I can be an example. If you fail, get back up. If plan A didn’t work, try B….and if you have to, work up to letter Z. I might be up to doubled up letters at this point in time. 

 I want to share the MAGIC!

 
That Magic….it’s addicting.

Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 2:31 pm 5 Comments
May 16
2014

Sorry I’m Not Sorry Friday Link-up!


Today I’m linking up with Crystal Michelle’s Mess
for the “Sorry I’m not Sorry” link-up fun! 
Sorry I’m not sorrythat I completely bribed my Kindergartner with a dollar if she took hot lunch today because it’s Friday, I need groceries, and I totally have “end of the school year hurry up” attitude! She didn’t accept my bribe.
 Sorry I’m not sorry that I have completely forgotten to have my third grader do math facts for the past two weeks. Oops…how many more days of school left?
Sorry I’m not sorry that I hope it does rain tonight & this coach has to cancel our tee-ball game tonight. Umm…hello 45 degrees is way too cold for the little kids….and the coach!  Unless, of course it gets a tad warmer than 48 degrees!!!
 Sorry I’m not sorry that I really wanted to pour myself a glass of wine at 7 a.m. yesterday morning fighting with my daughter to get to school on time….praying her bear-ness (totally not a word) is from her sleep apnea we just found out about & not that she really is a bear! 
Sorry I’m not sorry that we celebrated my daughters ninth birthday on Monday & her gifts & the empty boxes are still sitting in the living room….in my defense, we haven’t been home one single night this week!
 Sorry I’m not sorry that I’m doing one extra one because we are adorable! 
 Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 1:47 pm 3 Comments
May 13
2014

My 10k Race Recap


So my first disclaimer here is that I am a dork! Yup, a dork! 
Here is my first 10k Race Recap!
My alarm was set for 4:45 a.m. and unlike every morning during the week, I jumped up! I was totally fired up! 
I did some quick yoga stretches & headed downstairs to eat some breakfast…..
This would be where my failure to plan ahead hit me! Since I ended up with the flu last week on Wednesday & Thursday, my Thursday which was my “off” day from work was supposed to include a trip to the grocery store. Obviously that didn’t get scratched off my “To do” list & I stood in the middle of the kitchen wondering what in the world I could eat before my race. I settled on a KIND bar thinking that would at least keep me full until race time! 
I had planned ahead on my clothing & other running essentials the night before….at least I had something ready to go!
Took off in my car about 6:00 a.m. and yes, I totally pumped up the jams LOUD in my car & was completely singing & dancing away…..All.By.Myself. 
I was PUMPED, people! So excited!
The Run Club was meeting up to stretch out & get warmed up with our Trainer so, for me who is typically a race day “loner,” this was fun! To be meeting up with people to get fired up & be nervous with! Great pre-race time! 
We were finally out in the chute waiting to start running….as we stood there forever….the other girls in the run club were talking about their time goals. Then, there was me, who says, “Just gonna go slow & steady. I am a slow runner.” Again, I found I was doubting in myself. Judging myself against others. That darn comparison piece.
Then, all of that negative self-talk came out in my mind. “You really should have stuck to your training plan more.” “You didn’t run enough during the week & even skipped some of your longer training runs.” “Next time you commit you need to really do it & stop cheating yourself.” “Oh boy, I really hope I don’t embarrass myself.” “Can I even run this race?” “I should have done the 5k.” 
Finally, I yelled “ENOUGH” to myself. Enough doubt. I was prepared. Yes, of course, I could have run more & should not have skipped out on some of my runs on my training plan. But, even though maybe I hadn’t been running I had been very active. I only missed one of my runners studio classes that I know helped my running out tremendously. My body was much stronger now than it was when I ran my half-marathon in the fall. 
I reminded myself I was only racing myself & no one else. I was not running to impress them. I was running for my buddy, Kingsley. I was running for me. 
I thought to myself that if I came in around 1:10 I would be happy, even if I was a little over 1:10. It seemed like a good goal & I knew it was something I was going to accomplish.
FINALLY – RACE TIME!
My music was playing. My legs felt great. The energy around me was awesome!
So, I ran. I put one foot in front of the other….over and over again.
It was HOT! The sun was baking us for pretty much the entire run. No, I’m not complaining that the sun was out & it was a gorgeous morning….there have been years in the past where it has snowed on this race day & been super cold. However, I will state that none of my training runs had been this nice….mostly cold, sometimes snowy, and rainy! There were a few times we got shaded by some buildings & I did consider walking for a moment to milk the shade…but I did not! 
The spectators were amazing & all over the course – SO FUN! So many fun signs to read & chuckle at. So many adorable kids wanting to give you high fives along the way! 
I believe it was just after we hit mile #4 that the HILLS began! Really….the last half of the race? The first one was fairly steep & long….I saw many runners ahead of me stop & walk up it. I thought about it, I considered it, and then told myself I was stronger than that. So, I kept running. At that moment, I didn’t realize that the next 1.5 miles was all hills and most uphill….why did we never get to go down a hill? But I kept running. I kept saying my favorite saying, “I can. I will. I’m gonna.”
The best part about miles 4 through the end of the race is that I, yes I, was 
PASSING PEOPLE! Typically, I am getting passed all the time. As I was passing, I was feeling good too…not struggling! 
Finally, the finish line was crossed! I stopped my Garmin & was so proud as I saw 1:08:57. I made my goal….I passed my goal! 
My fabulous trainer was waiting at the finish line to greet us all! She made it so fun to have someone there with a giant smile of pride for you! 
Our Run Club hooked back up & got some fun finish pictures & then grabbed our freebie beer! I only got about 3 sips out of mine before I had to run off for a teeball game! 

This race for me was such a blast! I think the team aspect of the run club really made the day exciting! There were people there cheering for me and with me! It was a different race day feel for me & one I really enjoyed! 
Now as a small little push to myself…..I will admit that the race day atmosphere really makes me want to try for that 25k race next year…..we shall see! 
On a totally different note, today my Miss Jacee is NINE! How in the world has it been 9 years already? This girl is totally a blessing – such a light to your day! I am so proud of the girl she is!!! 
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 2:20 pm Leave a Comment
May 7
2014

Balance….


Balance…..
Is there such thing?
Is it possible to have a balance in any home, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?
This is something I am searching for. 
Some kind of a balance to keep us all stay sane.
A system to help us all stay organized to help the weeks go smoothly.
An atmosphere where we don’t forget what should be at the top of it all.
This past winter I made probably the hardest decision in my life to date. For the previous ten years I had been coaching High School Varsity Softball….a true passion of mine. I love that game more than many could understand, but more than that, was the relationships with my student-athletes.
But, this year, my husband had made the switch from teacher to Assistant Principal which is a dream for him. Quickly, I began to realize how different his hours were this school year.  I realized how much harder it was for me being a full-time working mama with both of my girls in full-time school with homework, active in Awana & learning all about His word, and participating in sports and other activities themselves.  
I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed that He would show me what I needed to do. I quickly began seeing many answers from Him that my time as the Softball coach needed to come to an end.
I did think this decision would make life easier. Not so crazy hectic.
But I was incorrect.
Life is still crazy hectic & I am still struggling at finding a balance! 
Unfortunately for my girls, their dad is an Assistant Principal who sees children daily that are never held to be responsible for anything. Poor girls! But, for real, I was raised with a daily reminder about working hard, being responsible and always trying your best. 
So, I’m working on a system. A system that will teach them responsibility but will also help this mama get us out of the door on time every morning for school! 
I have their lists for every evening hanging on the fridge that helps us prep for all the activities for the following day. They are responsible for their own list! 
Ineed to become a MUCH better planner & a more organized mama! So I am trying…..trying REALLY HARD here people! My fabulous planner is being updated by the hour pretty much!

 Meals….I need to learn to be an amazing meal planner! It would make life so much easier! Last night dinner for the girls was Subway eaten at the ball field during the opposite girls’ ball practice! 

We are kicking off next week with our first full week of Little League games, which we will have every evening of the week but Thursdays! 
The one area that still needs to be planned out in my planner is my WORKOUTS! Duh! Those MUST be planned. I will be working on this schedule after I meet with my awesome trainer tonight to get my May plan since I cannot make it to the studio ever for this month!
So, I’m a work in progress….I always will be….I will never have it figured out! But, I am trying….trying to be better than yesterday!
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
Posted By at 3:21 pm Leave a Comment
May 6
2014

Oh…The Lies!


Oh yes, I used to be “one of those.” 
One of those that totally thought a ## defined me. 
A ## told me if I would have a good day or a bad day. 
A ## that told me if I was a success or a failure. 
A ## that told me if I was beautiful or ugly. 
A ## that completely defined my self-worth.
Boy, was I ever stupid!
That thing LIES! It tells you SO MANY LIES!
If I listened to my scale for the past 4 months, I would have given up on this healthy lifestyle. The towel would have been thrown in! 
Quite honestly, the scale might have been thrown from my upstairs window & smashed in the driveway!
I always thought the scale was a great way to measure my progress. A way to get some feedback. 
These pictures…..well, first I should say that I have NO idea why I thought these shorts were the best shorts for me to take a “before” picture in January. My guess would be that quite possibly it was because I own ZERO shorts. I absolutely hate these shorts too & have meant to get rid of them many times….but for whatever reason at the beginning of January I thought these would be great shorts to take some photos in. They have such serious elastic that even those who have like no fat on their belly would look like they suddenly had a muffin top! Ugh. Oh well. We will continue to use these shorts that I will always hate for these pictures! 
Anyway, back to “these pictures.” These pictures, believe it or not, are only a difference of a few pounds. I was 161.1 in these pictures. This week I’m at 158.8. 

Hmm…..to my little eyes, I think it looks like more than 2-ish pounds gone.
I remember when I made my hubby take these before pictures. I wanted to hide. I wanted to puke out of complete embarrassment. I hated him seeing me look like this. 
Now, I am proud. I show him my progress. I hope he sees a difference…..physically but more importantly mentally! 
Oh! Don’t forget……Jeans! My jeans! My favorite pair of jeans seemed quite big last week! So, I figured they would be fine once I threw them in the wash & dryer. So…..I did….and then I put them back on straight out of the dryer for date night on Saturday…..Umm…BIG. Way big! So, I picked up a size 6 in these jeans & sure enough, they slip right on nice. I am not even squeezing into them and having them give me a massive muffin top because they are really too small! I am wearing them not so I can say, “yay they are size 6,” but because they fit right! 
Speaking of date night…..

I will continue to step on the scale. I do want to get back into the healthy range of weight on the BMI scale because I know for my body there is no reason I can’t get there. But, I will not be using the ## on the scale as solid feedback at all. That ## will not define me or my mood. Because like I said the other day, my changes I have been making mentally and physically are the feedback I need to keep on moving down this healthy mama & wife journey of mine! 

Now – my focus this week is finding some balance and some organization in my home during this crazy time of year…..stay tuned to how & if I can find it!

  

Until Next Time~
*Krisha*
Posted By at 2:07 pm Leave a Comment
May 2
2014

A Month With No Progress??



Oh…that feeling of a new month! A month where you get super fired up because it is a chance to make real progress this month, it is a brand new start, a month where you can change where you didn’t succeed the month before! You always enter into a new month with big goals, high expectations & a FIRE under your booty! 
I entered April fired up! Although in terms of the scale in March I was still stuck in my plateau but I was losing inches! April was going to be the month that I shattered through my plateau! 
Well I sit here this week at the end of April realizing that by any sense of measurement, I made no progress. My scale is still bouncing between the same exact three pounds it has been. I cannot locate my measurements (super annoyed with myself) from the beginning of April, but you can see from my picture here that there has not been a significant change at all. 
 (Top picture from May 1st & bottom pic from April 1st.)

I could get discouraged.
Honestly, I DID get discouraged. I had one of those stupid pity parties.
I sat here on Wednesday beating myself up over the skipped workouts, the unhealthy meals I consumed, the processed food I shoved in my mouth, the days I hardly logged 4,000 steps on my Fitbit and the days I was way under my water goal for the day. 
Oh yes, I could always point out my failures. But, because I am currently really working on the concept of “talk to yourself the way you would a friend,” I had to redirect my thoughts. I am a person who always sees the positive for others & preaches positive thinking! However, this has always been a struggle for myself that many are surprised about!  
My April changes were not physical at all.
You cannot measure my changes. 
You cannot see my changes. 
But, I can feel them.
First, my relationship with food has really started making a big change. I once didn’t question anything I put in my mouth. If I wanted it, I wanted it. Now, I’m asking myself these questions:
Is it really worth it?
Is it really hunger?
Is this going to fuel my body?
I am reading ingredients a lot & have recently said “NO” to many things before shoving them in! I think I have possibly retrained my taste buds….I always claimed I didn’t like almonds (or really any type of nut), and now I am in love with KIND bars  (the dark chocolate & sea salt…OH MY!) and love almonds. I am grabbing a small handful here & there for a snack or pre-workout! My taste buds are really craving those clean & healthy foods! 
A positive mental attitude….self-confidence is everything! I have always….for as long as I can remember….compared myself to everyone in everything! Running – oh my, my pace is SO slow compared to her; I should be embarrassed! Weight – Ugh. I’m so huge, she weighs like 10 pounds less than me. Clothes – I so wish I could wear a dress like that; she looks great, but I’d look like a whale in it. 
You get the picture…..
This is finally becoming my motto:
The only person I need to be better than is the person I was yesterday. 
My attitude has changed…..I ran yesterday, 6.5 miles, I didn’t worry about my pace. I just enjoyed the alone time I needed to reflect. I enjoyed my tunes. I praised Him for giving me the ability to run that many miles. When I was done, I knew how long I ran so of course, I knew what my pace ended up being, but I didn’t care. I didn’t beat myself up with the normal “You were so slow today. Your pace is horrible.” Instead, I said this, “6.5 miles is amazing & hard! You did it. You achieved the distance you set out to do & took the time to do it. No excuses.”  I am over making fun of myself for my slow pace because I am doing it. I am trying. I am moving. So many are not. 
When I am running or at my classes, I can feel myself getting so much stronger! No, to the eye you may not be able to see it…YET. But I feel it. My trainer told me the other day that I am doing great & getting so much stronger. She said she was impressed with my workouts & how awesome I’m doing. That was a feel good moment I needed. 
I feel it and she can see it.
I just feel good right now.
I feel great.
I am taking care of myself again. I am back on the list of priorities. I feel amazing when working out. When I am working out & taking the time to eat right I am such a better wife, mom, daughter, sister & friend. Simply put, because I feel great. Yesterday I got a sweet message from a friend who had just seen me & said, “you look happy…just wanted to let you know,……I can honestly say you looked like a woman of Joy last night!!!” 
This made me smile because I know that maybe my changes for April cannot be measured but I can feel them and others CAN, in fact, SEE them. 
Until Next Time~
*Krisha*
The Grits Blog
Posted By at 2:51 pm 1 Comment