(So I need to go back to my “NO EXCUSES” way of life!)

During this time period of me missing, I have been lacking energy, I’ve been overwhelmingly stressed out, I have been stuck in a negative way of thinking. I have not been me. 

Yesterday I left work with the weather being a gorgeous sunny 60 degree in Michigan. I rushed to pick up my girls & we arrived home to change our clothes & all get outside. I ran our neighborhood while the girls played basketball & rode bikes along my side. 

I told myself that this quick block of time was about me. Just me. I forced myself to let go of the stuff I left on my desk at work. I forgot about the piles around my house.

I allowed myself to get lost in my music; in the words, in the beat.

It was perfect.
It was needed.

When I was done, I felt energized all over again; I felt the stress leave my shoulders. 

Guess what happened next? I woke up at 4:04 a.m., exactly thirty minutes before my alarm was to begin yelling for my morning workout. I woke up feeling positive & ready to tackle my day.

Guess what came next? You are right: a solid four mile run along with squats, some plank work & a heck of a session with my foam roller (that is a love/hate relationship there!). 

More importantly, I was ready to tackle my day today. I am moving putting one foot in front of the other with a smile as I tackle those items on my desk at work, soon I’ll be tackling my coaching duties this afternoon followed by some house tasks this evening. 

Simply because I took time for me. I gave myself the gift of self-care; of my relaxation time. Because I felt accomplished this morning before 6 a.m. Because working out fuels my mind in a positively strong way.

Because that early morning time where my house is quiet & still is a gift to me. It is a time where I only have to answer to myself. There is no one else to demand anything from me. It is simply just about me.

This is my secret. To stay positive, to stay strong, to keep moving forward, to keep being me, to stay sane: be active!

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Sunday night I let it all hit me. The weight of my responsibilities, the length of that list that never gets finished. It just hit me. I felt behind in every aspect of my life.

I am not ashamed to admit I crawled into bed feeling it all & had tears in my eyes feeling like it was hopeless. I am not afraid to admit how overwhelmed I was feeling at that moment. I will admit I don’t have it all together. 

The best part is, that I know I am not alone. I know I wasn’t the only mom who crawled into bed on Sunday night thinking about the tasks she did not complete & thinking about the busy week ahead feeling incredibly overwhelmed & weighed down.

I am in a great adjustment period in my life right now & I am searching for the best balance for my girls and me. I am going to fail several more times before I reach a better balance. But, that is okay because every time I fail, I learn something. Every time I lose, I come back stronger & smarter. Every time I get knocked down, I always come back up swinging. 

We all have our own battles behind our closed doors that no one else sees. Our tears that we hide, our failures we are ashamed of, our struggles that make us want to curl up in a ball & say “I quit.” None of us are alone, but we feel we are. If we open up & take a chance on someone, we might find a friend who feels the exact same way we do; just by sharing here I have found some great new sources of support & encouragement.

For me, I will keep putting that one foot in front of the other trying to find a balance. We are all different & the things others may not see as important actually set my brain & stress load on fire. I am a person that cannot handle dirty dishes in the sink or a dishwasher waiting to be emptied; piles of folded laundry just waiting to make their way back into drawers; clutter on the kitchen counter of mail or school papers waiting to be flipped through. Those items, the clutter & the half-finished jobs, make my mind a cluttered mess which stresses me out even more to begin with. This is the way I am wired & I cannot change it. Some people may relax by playing candy crush or catching up on their DVR; my “me” time is my workouts & when I don’t get those in this mama can go all sorts of crazy; it is my unwind time.

So, no, I am not failing as a mom & my girls are always my priority, but what I am trying to do daily is to challenge myself to look at things differently; to accept things I cannot change; to grow in my relationships; to love my busy life; to find a balance taking care of everyone around me & my responsibilities; but also taking the time to take care of me too: mentally, physically & emotionally. 

I am living my life with intent & trying my best to not live simply going through the motions.  I am growing & changing; I am creating myself by living with intention & loving my imperfection.

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Umm….great, so am I. “Sorry”…is that how you respond? Or do you say “me too.” But, really when did “busy” become a feeling? When was this an appropriate response to a question that once had an answer of: good, great, wonderful, okay? “Busy” is never said with a smile; more of an “ugh!” What I have also noticed is that we are even to BUSY to respond back with “how are you doing?” 

Please do not get me wrong because I am quite certain I have probably given the busy answer a time or two myself.  I am also totally guilty of getting so caught up in the schedule or worrying about what is next on the agenda, that I am not present in the moment.

Lately, I have really been paying close attention to conversations with others. I guess that communication major from college is finding the way back out of me, or it might also be me looking for real genuine relationships and therefore looking at many interactions at different levels. It may also be me trying to work on a better me; the best me for my girls.

I am not sure when or why being so overly busy became *THE* thing to do. We glorify busy! It almost feels like if we do not have our schedules booked solid, we are not living life right; the pressure to do so is crazy! If our kids are not in three different sports or activities at a time, we are failing them as a parent. Where is the time to snuggle up on the couch & read a book with them or watch that movie for the twentieth time?

Our busy is our own fault, most of the time. I, personally, am a big one at taking on extras. I am always getting myself more involved with different organizations, hobbies, or committees. At times, I do get overwhelmed wondering how I can get it all done. I probably would not be human if I didn’t feel that way. This Saturday’s agenda for me feels almost this way – booked solid from sun up to sun down.

But, I encourage you this weekend in your busy schedule to stop & take the time to enjoy it all. 
Do not complain; embrace it.
Be thankful that you have children to chase around. 
Be grateful that your children can be active in sports or were committed to say enough verses to have the chance to participate in the Awana games on Saturday. 
Feel blessed that you have the financial ability to have your kids on the sports travel teams & the vehicle to transport them. 
Appreciate your occupation that allows you to do all this crazy busy “stuff.” 
Love that you can be there for your kids. 
Be a positive spectator for all those around you. 
Encourage your kids & the other kids to have fun & enjoy their activity without stressing about the pressure of being the best or winning. 
Be an example of giving 100 percent at the things we take on in life. 
Smile when the other busy mom asks how are you are doing; she may need that simple smile!

Smile. 
Enjoy every moment.
Be thankful. 
Be grateful. 
Appreciate it. 
Feel Blessed. 

Someday this will all be over; you will be sitting around on a Saturday wishing you could go back & do this all over again. You will wish your kids were not old enough to drive themselves to practice & wish you could go back to the day you were their taxi. They will be out of the house & you will want to hit rewind. 

So enjoy it now; take it all in & love every minute of it so on that Saturday in your future, you don’t sit there wishing you would have embraced every moment of your busy, crazy days instead of feeling stressed & complaining. 

I challenge you this weekend to embrace & love every crazy moment of your busy! I am challenging myself to do the same. 

After all, remember, those moments you might be taking for granted someone else is praying for.

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

Currently I am in training for a half-marathon & a 25k. I had very big goals for my pace goals for both races; really wanting to improve on my pace. Not to mention, this year for those completing both of these events you get an extra bling medal. Who doesn’t like more bling?! 

But, here I am. Not too many weeks before my half & that 25k will be here in no time. Yes, I realize it wasn’t that many months ago that I ran a full marathon, however, since then I have not been able to run as much as I had hoped due to my injuries and my physical therapy. 

Now, here I am with “life” I guess getting in the way of my training schedule. For the past two weekends, I have missed my long runs. Last week, I was fighting off some kind of virus and I tried to hit the trails but couldn’t do it. This past weekend I have been nursing my youngest daughter with a horrible flu bug & her typical dehydration to the point where quite often she wouldn’t let me leave her side. 

To be honest, it might be some level of an excuse, but once the week begins with all the girls activities & my work, I cannot squeeze in a long run. Yes, I have one of those ultra boring treadmills in the basement, but doing ten plus miles on that thing…..yikes!

Anyway, I sat here & debated on maybe rethinking my races & registrations. But, I set a goal. 

I don’t quit. 

I just have to rethink my plan a little; rework my training schedule. 

* and yes, I need to get back to utilizing my planner!!*

Yes, maybe it is possible that I may need to re-think my RACE day goals & maybe I will need to accept what is & smile as I cross the finish line. 

Life happens. Always. It can get in our way; attempts to throw us away from our goals. I have had a lot of life changes in the past few months & at times I have been tempted to stop training, set my goals down lower; smaller easier goals. 

But, that would be me going in a backwards direction. I am not going that way. I still need to move forward & push myself. This girl is the one that has to have a big goal to work towards; I will always be in love with the feeling of being challenged along with the feeling of being stronger than yesterday. 

In the past few months I have had to make some changes in my workout routine & schedule and also changes in my monthly budget. 

One of those things I had to let go of for now was my studio membership. This was hard for me, very difficult. I loved the classes there, the trainers. I always walked out feeling purely exhausted but yet so much stronger. I loved the other women I have met, the friends I have made. Do you know how nice it is to actually go someplace where women are empowering & encouraging each other versus judging, measuring up & being jealous of one another? Some day I will be back there, but for now, this is where I am at. For now, this was an expense I had to cut. 

I could certainly allow losing my membership to be an excuse; a reason to stop making progress. An easy way out of building up my strength. I could also really use my personal life changes to hold me back, way back, if I wanted.  But, I am too strong to allow that to happen.

Anyway, over the past year I have heard comments about my progress. Comments that I’ve become obsessed….yes, a woman obsessed with being healthy & comfortable in her skin. Comments that my progress is unattainable to others because I was training for a marathon. Comments that others cannot afford a gym or studio membership so my progress was not possible for them because I had “extra help.”

So, now….here I am. Here are my changes from January to March, there is definitely a loss of some good inches. Yes, after the holidays I was feeling “puffy” like I am sure everyone was! But, this progress here was made without running much at all; no big long runs at all. For the most part, all I ran was 2-3 miles twice a week, maybe three times a week. I was only able to attend one night at the studio – 1 class that ran from January to the end of February but I only made it on four of the Wednesdays in that eight week time frame. 

Other than my short little runs, I was working out at home, mostly just 20-30 minute workouts made up by myself for the most part. I turn on my tunes, pull out my yoga mat, pull out the kettlebell & the few weights I have & the resistance bands, push my Bosu ball out in the room. Then, I move. I push myself, no one is there telling me to go lower or harder…it is just me. Some days I focus on a whole body workout, some days it is my legs, while other is it my core & arms. Anyone can get down on the floor & do some push-ups or different core exercises, anyone can get up & do some squats or lunges.I have a few websites or trainers I follow for ideas & videos, I do also have several Beachbody workout DVDs.

All you need to make progress is a commitment to yourself, a desire for a change, a fire inside you to push yourself, and the strength to keep going when you are tired. But, you must throw the excuses out the window – the only person those excuses hurt is yourself; you are only holding you back.

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

No, it has not been easy. Yes, there are times I have wanted to quit. I have had days where pizza and beer won. Workouts & runs that were skipped because I was not in the mood. 

But, every time I fell down, I got back up. Every day I struggled, I told myself all I had to do was keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Yes, in the beginning I hated working out. I felt weak. I compared myself to everyone around me.

Then, I realized I was getting stronger. I found that comparison is simply the thief of joy & I was not on this journey for anyone else so why compare myself? I did not need to measure up to anyone else but myself. 

I found that the secret to my success was in my daily habits. Focusing on changing these habits with small daily goals pushed me forward to progress. I realized that I will never be perfect & in this journey perfection is not an option. One small screw up, one missed workout, or 4 pieces of pizza later I was still okay. I did not have to throw in the towel & start again next week, next month. 

My motto has been everything in moderation when it comes to what I eat or drink. I am that person that if you tell me I cannot have something I will want it badly. Dream about it. Crave it. I will attempt to fulfill this craving in other ways & later realize I would have been better off to allow myself what I really wanted in a controlled portion – instead I just probably consumed 800 extra calories! 

This is not my diet. I have not dieted in the past year. I am living a healthy lifestyle. A lifestyle that for me is livable. A lifestyle that makes me feel incredible. A lifestyle that my daughters have picked up on & have learned from. 

I look back to this “before” me & remember how scared I was. How afraid I was of failure. I remember in June when I decided I wanted to try to train for a full marathon, I was so afraid I could not do it that I didn’t admit to anyone until after I had run 15 miles because that was my furthest run ever. Why be afraid? Even if I hadn’t achieved the goal, I was trying! I was putting myself out there! No longer am I afraid. I definitely may fail at an upcoming race or run, but I will continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other so is it really failing? Or maybe just falling short? 

I know I will have people ask me how much weight I have lost in these pictures & I cannot honestly tell you. Anywhere from 15-20 pounds, but not significant. I had to stop listening to the scale, it was not feedback that was working for me. To be honest, if I still listened to it, it would tell me that my BMI is still considered to be OVERWEIGHT! To me, I do not look in the mirror & see someone who needs to lose weight.

No, I see a woman who is proud of herself. A woman with a fire & a passion. A woman who is living life to the fullest & is not sitting on the sidelines spectating. I see a woman with a true smile. There is a woman who pushes herself daily & is in the best shape of her life. A woman who is getting stronger daily & can see muscle definition. A mom who now looks in the mirror & loves what she sees that she used to hate. A woman who sees a body that changed through pregnancies but finds beauty in each change there & now fully embraces it. 

Yes, there are changes on the outside, but really what happened from the before picture to the current picture is that I learned to love myself again. Is there any better gift out there for myself or for my daughters – a mom who loves herself inside & out?  

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

I have always taken pride in the fact that my workouts do not take away much of the little smidgen of time I get with my girls on a daily basis. Sure, some days I workout with them next to me in the living room & some days we go up to the track & run together. But, those few precious hours I get with them in a day needs to be about them; I need to pour into them; focus on them; love on them.  
 
I get asked constantly how I find time to train for a marathon, how I find the time for my workouts. How do I have the energy?

Yes, I am a full-time working mom. Right now, my girls have activities that I carry the responsibility alone to transport them to Mondays through Thursdays, I don’t have a built-in back-up plan anymore, just me. On top of all the other things a parent has to see gets accomplished during the week: math facts, reading, Awana verses, homework, etc. Being on my own now, I am learning how to balance this all effectively, or I guess the best way I can, while also finding the balance of how to maintain my house up to my personal standards…..cluttered mess stresses me out to be honest!!

Yes….my house often becomes that cluttered mess these days & no, the vacuum doesn’t get used as much as I would prefer…but I am learning the balance & the best way to keep me sane while focusing on what is truly important in my life. I will admit that when my kitchen becomes a cluttered hot mess….all I want is pizza. As if ordering pizza is going to make me feel less like a cluttered mess & put my kitchen back in order….I suppose one can dream, right? 

Anyway, to try to say I do not feel overwhelmed on a daily basis would certainly be a lie. In fact this Wednesday, after a week with so many questions & thoughts heavy on my heart, as I stood waiting in the church to pick up my girls I looked up to the ceiling & prayed….suddenly finding myself so lost in my own mind & heart that I had tears streaming down my face as I ran into the bathroom before it was noticed. 

In the mornings the girls & I are a hot crazy chaotic mess as we rush them to school & me to work. I rush through my work day always feeling buried and feeling like my desk will never be clean again….ever! I sprint out of the office to run home & take care of our incredible dog & then run back out to grab the girls to take them to basketball practice, church, gymnastics….whatever is on the agenda for the evening. 

Yes, we do math facts & Awana verses in the car! Multitask like any mom!

To add on to my daily responsibilities is my new role as Site Liaison & Coach for our Girls on the Run team at my daughter’s school. This program I am truly so excited about & love I get this extra time not only with my daughter, but twenty other incredible young ladies who will, with no doubt, change my life! I just pray I can enrich their lives & that they grow this season in their own self-confidence.

Oh…and don’t forget prep work for Little League season has started & I would also be an officer on that committee & coach!  Again, a wonderful chance to pour into my girls & their friends – such an amazing gift. 

Somehow I still manage to drag my butt out of bed in the mornings & put on my bright fun colored workout clothes. I may not be smiling….in fact, I could possibly be doing some serious complaining under my breath.  Some days its not until I walk in the door again at 8:00 p.m. or after I tuck my babies in bed before I can pull on those workout clothes…already feeling exhausted & done for the day. Other days, I will take advantage of a lunch time run (on the days I’m not using this time to run to the grocery store because we are out of milk or eggs again). There are even days where my workout is lunges or a plank every time I use the restroom at work. But, I dig deep & manage to find that energy to create the moments that I can get lost in, the moments where I build strength.

Why? 
Why do you do it?


Because. 
Because I can. Because I need it. Because it is somehow the most relaxing part of my day. Because my girls wake up in the morning & immediately asked me if I got up to workout & how many miles did I do. Because for the length of the workout on most days I can stop searching for answers or finding more questions, I can get lost in the counting of my reps or music instead. Because I love feeling stronger – physically AND mentally. Because I want to be a healthy role model. Because I love the sense of accomplishment when you achieve a goal. Because I love to push myself.

Because I hate excuses.

Because I feel empowered, confident, & focused to achieve all the millions of little things I have to accomplish in a day & now I have the energy to do it all. 

 We all get twenty-four hours. We don’t ever find the time to accomplish what we want. But, we can make the time if we truly want. Every morning I wake up with a “BRING IT” attitude & that is because I have created a strong, healthy & confident me who knows with some good old fashioned hard work, she can do it all as best as she can.

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

The girl on the left was just becoming a little stronger, a little more confident but still full of doubts as she wouldn’t tell anyone yet that she was training for a marathon. She still did not believe she could accomplish this goal of hers! But, she decided to keep trying to put one foot in front of the other to test her limits.

The girl on the right crossed the finish line of 26.2 miles in complete physical pain in her knee/leg/hip. Mentally exhausted as she fought through that pain, through the rain & through the wind. She pushed through a wave of emotions during the course. Many times she wanted to quit, but knew deep down she was too strong to quit. She no longer had self-doubts & knew she could do anything she set her mind to. She was strong. She was not the girl who had started the training a few months ago. She was new. She was improved.  She was exactly who she was meant to be.

Some days we just forget who we really are. We find ourselves lost & weighed down by life. It is going to happen, it will happen again. The amazing thing is when you have those incredible people in your life who are there to always remind you of your magic & you are willing to see it again….

Because…then…today, you win. Today, you make the choice to feel powerful & strong & believe in your own magic again. 

Until Next Time~
*krisha*