Why Mine Is Different

There is no denying the fact that the day I became diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is the day I lost myself.

I had zero idea what was ahead of me, the rough waters I was about to navigate. I had some disease of my nervous system that was horribly painful, had no cure & was something I had never heard of before.

I have tried to pull myself back up many times since that day, only to fall again. It seemed to me that every single time I fought to get back up, a flare-up of my symptoms began. Finding the balance of being the Krisha I had always been while keeping flare-ups from occurring appeared to be impossible.

When you are dealing with something like CRPS or other chronic pain diseases or invisible illnesses, not only are you battling against the physical symptoms day in & day out; but the mental & emotional ones are the ones that really make it difficult.

If you follow me, you know I am a huge fan of Rachel Hollis & Girl, Wash Your Face. Like, I mean I have re-read that book so many times.

Her & her husband, Dave, who I am equally a fan of, are doing their incredible challenge, the “last 90 days.”  The challenge consists of 5 things we are to strive to do every day for the last 90 days of the year to give us some crazy momentum to head into the new year.

Working out/moving for thirty minutes every day is something I cannot always get in. Between flare-ups & just really the daily symptoms of CRPS, I struggle at this. Also, getting up an hour early to spend time on just me is another item that is not easy. Sleep is something that is truly a gift with CRPS & nighttime is when my symptoms are at their peak so falling asleep takes me hours.

So what exactly am I doing to actually follow along with the last 90 day challenge? It seems only really one item listed on their “five to thrive” list.

I am writing down ten things every day that I am grateful for. Let me tell you, that list has, at times, been my life jacket. There are days where I just want to give up this fight & crawl into bed but staying focused on all the good in my life always makes me smile. I have also listened to their week day live videos on social media & taken notes. I often relate those thoughts to me, to my battle, to MY season.

My ninety day focus is incredibly different from yours. My ninety day focus is about grace, it’s about hope, it’s about love, it’s about strength.

You see, at the beginning of October my husband had shoulder surgery & is unable to lift anything in his dominant hand over two pounds until after the first of the year. I am days away from a surgery that I hope is life-changing in my battle against CRPS. I will be unable to lift anything over 5 pounds and no bending, twisting, reaching, etc. for twelve weeks & a great deal of recovery pain is ahead.

My goal for this last ninety days is to give myself the grace I need in this next step. It’s to practice patience, which I will admit is my absolute biggest struggle in life, as I have to depend on help for so much {I am not good at this part either}. I am going to stay hopeful even on the days where it seems like the procedure is not working. I am going to stay tuned into my body for what it needs.

My last ninety days might look different from yours & it certainly looks different from the way Rachel Hollis drew it up. But, everything is open to your own interpretation & this is mine.

I know that my list of ten things I am grateful for & my list of my dreams/goals written in present tense, and this positive mindset are all the best tools I can have ready for what we will walk through from now until after we ring in 2019. I know this is going to create a wonderful wave of momentum & I truly believe my last ninety day challenge is going to make it possible for me to find myself again.

So what does YOUR last ninety day challenge look like?

Until Next Time~