So I took a long vacation away from the world of blogging. Between softball season, end of the school year life, summer starting & ignoring how I am still constantly failing at this taking & keeping weight off sort-of-thing I had disappeared. But, here I am today, back and ready….I hope.
And I’m back today linking up for WIW as I did so many previous times…only with different bloggers this time!
A couple of weeks ago I again realized the super negative effect the scale was having on me. I mean, really, it is a number & should not define my self-worth every morning. So, we broke up. As we broke-up, I had a week at the camper with my ENTIRE family (while going back & forth to work) & then followed that week up with a road trip & vacation to Florida with my hubby & the girls. Today, just to check in, I got on the scale. No, I didn’t love the number at all. I wish I was not in that decade of numbers. But was I surprised? No. I am actually down about a pound & a half since the last time I got on it but I also can tell it’s back up from where it was within that time. I’m not going to dwell on it though. I had a GREAT vacation in Florida. I did drink what I wanted & let myself eat what I wanted at dinner but tried to keep things in perspective for breakfast & lunch. I have no regrets with how I did. I could have done better, but it was my choice to not stress about it.
But, now it’s time to get focused. I hate what I see in the mirror every morning, afternoon & evening. I have truly put myself in the lowest spot on my list of priorities, and I’m not proud. It’s time to fix it. It’s time to work on me. It’s time to take care of myself so I can be a better spouse, mom & friend.
About two years ago I spent the summer feeling AMAZED with myself. I had just become a Weight Watchers Lifetime member & I was SO CONFIDENT. I wore shorts & didn’t think twice about it. I felt good in my swimsuit!
Unfortunately, it was before gaining back about twenty pounds.
Sometimes I truly think I’m just scared. When I used to hear people say something about having fear about losing weight, I could never figure it out! I mean, what is there to be afraid of with losing weight? In my current situation in digging deep inside myself, I feel it. For me, it’s a feel of failure….again. I failed. I put back on 20 pounds after working my butt off (literally) for 3 years. Here I sit having done exactly what I said I would NEVER do.
I am afraid that I will regain it again. I am afraid that I will fail.
But, so what. Time to get over my fear & move forward. A fear of failure will only hold me back & I will continue to look back in the past. So over it! So ready to move forward & take it one day at a time.
So, here goes nothing. I’m moving on. I’m moving forward. I’m moving away from my past failures.
And some pics from our wonderful vacation:
First time in the ocean for my little ladies!
They never wanted to leave!
Of course we had to go searching for seashells!
Treasured family time!
Yes, the cool mom I am let them get their hair done!
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
So glad to have you on the link up!
Someone else also posted that quotes on WIW today – I love it! Looks like you had a great time in Florida!
I am sitting here hanging out with the same 17lbs I lost 2 years ago..you are so not alone in this girl! It is so stinking hard. Stopping by from WIW…