The Journey of Many, Many Miles.

Yesterday I took a moment to look back….all the way back to the very first step of this healthy living journey. Over 5.5 years ago….

I walked into Weight Watchers that Thursday morning with my mom by my side & carrying little Miss Laynee who was two weeks old in her car seat. I remember my heart sinking to my toes when I saw my starting weight that morning.

I wanted to cry. I was so mad at myself. I felt regret. I felt anger. I was sad. I was scared.
I was afraid I would never get where I wanted to go. I was afraid I would fail.

I remember it seemed to take forever for my body to start losing. My mom would remind me every week that I had just had a baby & my body had a lot of changes to go through. I did not give up; that isn’t my nature.

I do know for the first year I was on WW, I never had a gain for a week. I had maintains, I had losses of just 0.25 but I was focused enough that I was losing. Slowly….very slowly, but the number was getting smaller.

I collected all of my awards – my 10% key ring, my 25 lb star, all the 5 lb stars for every 5 lbs gone, eventually that 50 lb medal & then came the goal weight & lifetime awards. Oh that sense of pride I felt every time!

Throughout my losing weight, I had to get active. I was an athlete in high school & a pretty decent one. But, running was NEVER a thing for me. In fact, it was punishment at my practices – if we ran it was because coach was ticked off!

But, I had to move. I started with pushing little Miss Laynee around our development in her stroller. That first step, those first steps…honestly, working up to walking a mile. I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I was once a solid athlete & had let myself get to this point. Eventually I was walking a mile or more consistently. But, then I tried running….just a little here & a little there. I felt like a complete fool praying none of my neighbors were home looking out their window as I’m sure I looked ridiculous! At first, those run intervals were literally a couple steps….

But then again, doesn’t every journey begin with a single step?

There was a day I ran a mile….a very slow mile. But I was proud. There was a day I ran two miles without stopping. Eventually a five mile run became my normal – the first time I ran 5 miles I jumped up & down with tears in my eyes – I felt amazing!

I look back now after having backtracked slightly on the # on the scale & the running. Up until recently I was feeling so ashamed, mad at myself & feeling like a failure that I had allowed myself to slide a tad backwards.

But, then I remember, that sometimes life happens. Sometimes we do lose sight of our goals. Sometimes we get too comfortable. Sometimes we stop pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone to see what else we can do. Sometimes we move ourselves down to the bottom of our list of priorities when we should be at the top.

This is my year of stepping out of my comfort zone. I’ve joined an incredible fitness center, Mommy Fit Club, where I’ve already found amazing support & encouragement. I joined their running club when previously the thought of running with a group scared the heck outta me…..you know, because I’m SO SLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW! But, if I don’t step out of my super comfy comfort zone, I am holding myself back from building anything of true beauty.

So, this week I’m looking back, I’m reflecting; I’m remembering how many miles I have already traveled here with pride; and I’m looking ahead to how many more miles I have to travel with excitement.

As for WIW….my scale is a liar! I know my inches are moving in the right direction, I’m toning – I’m building strength. My scale this morning wanted me to throw her through the window apparently…So, right now I’m not letting that # control me. I took pictures on March 1st…I’m anxious to see those change at the end of the month!

Until Next Time~
*krisha*